Test your relationship forming expertise:

Question 1. There are two fundamental forms of love. Selfish and?

Sexual

Parental

Empathic

Eternal

Incorrect: sexual love can also be selfish.

Incorrect: parental love can also be selfish.

Correct: giving for the sake of giving. Selfish love is giving for the sake of getting.

Incorrect: the length is not related to the form.

Question 2. There are four main relationship motivations. Soul-mate is one, the others are?

Friendship, bookkeeping, and destructive.

Engaged, sexual, and living-apart-together.

Marriage, double-income-no-kids, and co-parenting.

Secret, divorced, and denial.

Correct: from good to bad

Incorrect: engaged and living-apart-together are forms and not motivations. You can also be sexual with a soul-mate.

Incorrect: all are relationship forms, and not motivations.

Incorrect: neither are motivations.

Question 3. Three examples of relationship starters are: IQ, looks, and status. Can you give three examples of relationship fundamentals?

Sex, money, and aggression.

Love, children, and a nice house.

Altruism, good character, and honesty.

Career, academic degrees, and sensuality.

Incorrect: sex and money are starters, aggression is neither.

Incorrect: love, children and a nice house may result from the good fundamentals.

Correct: these may provide a stable basis to you relationship.

Incorrect: these are all starters.

Question 4. List the six conditions for a happy relationship?

Similar goals, sex, nice children, chemistry, similar values, and no mood swings.

Good looks, right greeting rituals, connecting with each other, status, team play, and an elaborate wedding ceremony.

Similar goals, similar values, chemistry, mutual empathy, active effort, and a solid basis.

Similar political views, sensuality, both non smoking, mutual tolerance, similar hobbies, and similar friends.

Incorrect: you can also have a happy relationship with a partner that has mood swings.

Incorrect: you can also have a happy relationship without status or a big wedding.

Correct: solid basis means that you are both mentally healthy, trust is preserved, and there is team play.

Incorrect: you can also be in a happy relationship if you have dissimilar political views and hobbies and different friends.

Question 5. When does a personal relationship start?

When you fall in love.

When you first kiss.

When you are married and live in the same house.

When you choose for each other.

Incorrect: love is a feeling for one person, for a relationship by definition two people have to be involved. You can fall in love with a pop star that you never met, it does not qualify as a relationship.

Incorrect: you can also kiss outside of the context of a relationship.

Incorrect: marriage does not necessarily provide interpersonal bonding. You can also marry someone who does not even qualify as a friend.

Correct: a relationship is a choice. If you were misinformed then you did not choose for this person, and hence it is not a relationship.

Question 6. When does a personal relationship start?

When you know who he/she is, what he/she expects from you, and what you can expect from him/her.

By knowing his/her income, capital, and borrowing capacity.

When he/she says they love you.

When you have lived together under one roof.

Correct.

Incorrect: please try to be more serious!

Incorrect: shouldn’t you know who he/she really is?

Incorrect: although this is an important test for any relationship, the fact that you lived together does not mean you know all about him/her.

Question 7. Your partner is very fond of his/her mother, but she interferes with your household in a way that you do not agree with. The best response is:

Accept the interference because she is the mother of your partner and has more experience.

Openly confront your mother-in-law and verbally put her in her place.

Explain to your partner that you two now have a new household, and he/she should move from being someone’s child to being someone’s partner. He/she should correct their mother.

Do nothing so that everything remains peaceful, and take more yoga classes so as to combat frustration.

Incorrect: don’t ignore your own intuition, and don’t let third parties run your personal life.

Incorrect: this may backfire onto your relationship as your partner might choose sides with his/her mother.

Correct: a relationship has a higher chance of success if emotional navel strings have been cut, and your partner has left the nest.

Incorrect.

Question 8. Can you guess what percentage of children get de-fathered and/or de-mothered, if you also include children from parents who did not marry?

Approximately 20 %.

Approximately 10 %.

Approximately 5 %.

Approximately 0,5 %.

Correct answer, at least for The Netherlands.

Incorrect.

Question 9. Is a marriage legally and/or religiously valid if your ‘spouse’ intentionally misinformed you?

Legally yes, religiously not.

Legally not, religiously yes.

Legally yes, religiously yes.

Legally not, religiously not.

Incorrect for religiously.

Incorrect for legally.

Correct answer, in most Western countries.

Incorrect for both.

Question 10. What is for most people the strongest feeling in the emotional universe?

What you feel for your parents.

What you feel for your children.

Friendship.

What your feel for your partner.

Incorrect.

Correct: on a scale of 1 to 10, the 10 is typically reserved for any children.

Incorrect: many friendships do not pass the test of time. Feelings for children almost always do.

Incorrect: people may divorce from their partner, but not from their children.

0/10

Choosing your partner is possibly the most important decision in your life.

You can learn more on relationship forming in the book:
RELATIONSHIPS how to select the right partner.

The book was mentioned in the following media:

The Flemish newsmagazine KNACK gave editorial attention to the book.
The Flemish text can be found at: www.duetrelatiebemiddeling.be, or you can download the PDF files in either Flemish or English.
The US National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS).
The Flemish magazine CHANGE Think Positive.
The Dutch magazine De Psycholoog (NIP.)
The Dutch association of family law lawyers and divorce mediators (vFAS).
The Dutch association of independent psychologists & psychotherapists (NVVP).

About the book

Read all about how to select the right partner. In this book you will learn how to interview your date, why some relationships succeed, while others fail, how you get to a lasting commitment, and much more...

Order

If you have read and agree with the legal disclaimer, then you can order the book here:

Legal notice: written, published and printed in The Netherlands under Dutch law.
All visual materials, names and intellectual property copyright © info@peterdelprat.com

Test your relationship forming expertise:

Incorrect: sexual love can also be selfish.

Incorrect: parental love can also be selfish.

Correct: giving for the sake of giving. Selfish love is giving for the sake of getting.

Incorrect: the length is not related to the form.

Correct: from good to bad

Incorrect: engaged and living-apart-together are forms and not motivations. You can also be sexual with a soul-mate.

Incorrect: all are relationship forms, and not motivations.

Incorrect: neither are motivations.

Incorrect: sex and money are starters, aggression is neither.

Incorrect: love, children and a nice house may result from the good fundamentals.

Correct: these may provide a stable basis to you relationship.

Incorrect: these are all starters.

Incorrect: you can also have a happy relationship with a partner that has mood swings.

Incorrect: you can also have a happy relationship without status or a big wedding.

Correct: solid basis means that you are both mentally healthy, trust is preserved, and there is team play.

Incorrect: you can also be in a happy relationship if you have dissimilar political views and hobbies and different friends.

Incorrect: love is a feeling for one person, for a relationship by definition two people have to be involved. You can fall in love with a pop star that you never met, it does not qualify as a relationship.

Incorrect: you can also kiss outside of the context of a relationship.

Incorrect: marriage does not necessarily provide interpersonal bonding. You can also marry someone who does not even qualify as a friend.

Correct: a relationship is a choice. If you were misinformed then you did not choose for this person, and hence it is not a relationship.

Correct.

Incorrect: please try to be more serious!

Incorrect: shouldn’t you know who he/she really is?

Incorrect: although this is an important test for any relationship, the fact that you lived together does not mean you know all about him/her.

Incorrect: don’t ignore your own intuition, and don’t let third parties run your personal life.

Incorrect: this may backfire onto your relationship as your partner might choose sides with his/her mother.

Correct: a relationship has a higher chance of success if emotional navel strings have been cut, and your partner has left the nest.

Incorrect.

Correct answer, at least for The Netherlands.

Incorrect.

Incorrect.

Incorrect.

Incorrect for religiously.

Incorrect for legally.

Correct answer, in most Western countries.

Incorrect for both.

Incorrect.

Correct: on a scale of 1 to 10, the 10 is typically reserved for any children.

Incorrect: many friendships do not pass the test of time. Feelings for children almost always do.

Incorrect: people may divorce from their partner, but not from their children.

0/10

Choosing your partner is possibly the most important decision in your life. You can learn more on relationship forming in the book: RELATIONSHIPS how to select the right partner.

The book was mentioned in the following media:

About the book

Order

Choosing your partner is possibly the most important decision in your life.

You can learn more on relationship forming in the book:
RELATIONSHIPS how to select the right partner.